Dec 31, 2004

New Year

Tragic Closing

I am sitting here with a copy of Utusan Malaysia, it's front page a picture of mangled bodies in Banda Acheh. The TV is fixed on CNBC, constant updates on the disaster. I thought I've heard enough of the repeated gruesome facts. But every hour seem to bring in more tragic information about this town, or that family, or some other individual barely escaping death. When will it all end? Or is this merely the beginning? A prelude to the full wrath of Allah?

I was going to pen down my thoughts on the past year and, traditionally, me resolutions for 2005 that's coming in precisely two hours from now. But all I can think of is the horrid end of 2004.

The year comes to a close with a bang, indeed. Everything that's happened, to me, clearly points to something that God wants us to see. What that is, is beyond my comprehension. At the very least, it's probably to get us back on the right track.

Could it be one of the tanda-tanda hari Qiamat?
Could it be one of the tanda-tanda akhir hari Qiamat?
If so, how much closer are we to it?

By right, I should be getting ready for my trip abroad, but I can't help thinking that it's all superficial. What good is a carefully packed luggage compared to an eternity in hell? I might not even make it to Australia. The end of the world might just come before then. I'm going down to Kota Bharu to see my grandma in a few days. Right now, that's the only thing I desperately want to do.

It seems fickle to be going about life as usual when such a disaster is still looming at our doorstep. But, as, my dad said at dinner, "Kalau dah ajal, no form of forward warning can save you. Kalau dah ajal, tak boleh elak." So true, dad. And so, it is with that in mind I resolve for the new year to:

Insya'Allah...
I will live life correctly, according to what the Quran dictates, so help me God.

Dec 28, 2004

Tsunami

SP and Tsunami
I wish there's more I can offer.

We had no clue on what happened until one of my dad's staff called him on the cell. He was supposed to go down to Penang and hand in some donations on behalf of the company. To the guy who lost all his five children to the giant waves. What a shocker. What a cliche.

The area worst hit was Kuala Muda, not far from where we were. Yet, life went on in SP as if nothing happened. I expected to see choppers flying in with patients from KM and ambulances blaring their sirens across town. Nope, nothing of the sort.

At first, the news seemed somewhat surreal. Tsunami? Here in Malaysia? Exactly.

An aerial video of the Penang beach showed people desperately running away from rapidly advancing waves. Some managed to escape, others disappeared beneath the seemingly harmless white foams. The wrath of mother nature, so beautiful in it's destruction.

All I can think of is how grateful I should be despite of it all.
Of all the countries hit, Malaysia still has the least number of fatalities.
Of all the countries hit, Malaysia was the farthest inland, the farthest away form the epicenter.

And also, despite of it all, I could not ignore the hints pointing to the fact that it was a massage from GOD.
Most of the major tourist attractions were severely hit (Phuket, Langkawi).
It happened on a Sunday, a day of picnicking, a day of leisure, a day of outings.
Coincidence? Perhaps.
More like providence. At least to me it is.


Dec 24, 2004

Sungai Petani

Tomorrow I Journey

Tomorrow I journey
to the town of SP
where I roamed young and free
where bonds of faith awaits me
where I paved a brief history
of tears, of laughter, of destiny

in the green fields of padi

Tomorrow I journey
to Sungai Petani...


Dec 20, 2004

Gigi

Cabut gigi.Sakit giler.

Hell. That one word singularly summerises the entire experience.

Finally the day I'd been postponing arrived. Like so many other anonymous adults of today, I hold a morbid fear of going to the dentist. The way I was whining to my mom, I was one diaper short of being a baby. But hey, this is my gums we're talking about here, not endless waves of nerveless hair or nails!

The horror began the moment the dentist said "OK, nice and wide for me please...". She said the jab would be merely a prick, but boy, it was one hell of a prick. After that, of course, I went numb but she still had to add a few more jabs of anesthetic. Turns out I have very sensitive nerves.

I can't even describe the horror of her slicing through my gums. Of course I didn't feel anything, but I can hear the scalpel scraping against my tooth. Plus I could see my reflection in her glasses. Molars, incisors, gums and all. Not a calming sight.

At some point during the minor surgery, the dentist took a break and told me to relax and not fight it. How the hell can I not, for God's sake? She was practically hacking away at my gums, picking up one brutish tool after another and prying my jaws open so wide that I thought they might get dislocated permanently. After a while, it wasn't the pain that was shaking me, it was the fear of it that weakened me so much. I could almost feel the tooth being butchered and bludgeoned out of me. I had so many things to say while all this was going on but couldn't, like "is it supposed to hurt this much, even with the anesthetic?" and "are you sure you're doing this right?" and "Hey, what's that thing you just pulled outta there??!!!"

Of course, the surgery finally came to an end when she pulled out my wisdom. Goodbye old tooth. Yes, you, the one that cropped up almost horizontally instead of vertically like the rest of your siblings, ramming the geraham next to you, therefore warranting your own demise. It's been lovely having you around, and I'm sad to have to let you go in such a healthy state. But there it is, you have to go.
*sob, sob*

Dec 17, 2004

Cineast

I'm such a sucker for multi-talented-jocks like this one.

It's been two weeks now and I still can't get him out of my head (imagine Kylie's a capela serenade of 'I Just Cant' get You Out of My Head' in the background).No, it's not Brad Pitt or any of the other heart-throbs casted in the movie.

I was utterly and most undeniably captured, enraptured, spell-bounded, by the one final scene by the ever-so-illusive Vincent Cassel a.k.a. Francois Toulour a.k.a. the Night Fox. His appearance throughout the movie was sporadic and at times doesn't include much dialogue. In the scene where he finally reveals his secret for B&E into a museum, however, Cassel literally outshines any and all, and I mean all, of the afore mentioned hotshots.

Typically, the museum is decked out with laser beams criss-crossing each other across the gallery. So, what does the suave Baron Toulour do to get past them?

He simply plugs in his ear plugs, and dances, I mean dances, to the song! It was hand-stands, back flips, somersaults, jumps and skips, across the room. It was a sort of a capoeira+breakdance+ballet+lift dancing kindofthingy without too much of hip-swaying to come off as sissy. The music really helped the entire scene pull off beautifully. Talk about multi-talented!(Gosh, I can go on and on about that dance routine for days. ) He reaches the other end of the gallery, takes a look at the laser beams, turns to walk off, jumps and clicks his heels in mid-air, Chaplin style.

*sigh*......I'm on cloud nine, people....

Dec 11, 2004

Shadows

Shadow. The Shadow.

Ever felt like there's a shadow that follows you around? Even when there's no sun, no light, nothing, to cast it in your direction?
Ever felt like a shadow hitches a ride at the sole of your feet and goes wherever you go, does whatever you do, sees everyone you see?
Ever felt like it's robbing you off your name, the sillhouette that takes the form of your body but never giving you credit for it?
Ever looked in a mirror and see an immitation of yourself instead of a reflection?

Ever turned around to see an echo of yourself doing the rounds, collecting applause?
Patent rights be damned, a copycat is nothing but that.

Dec 9, 2004

My New Best Friend

Today I met a great new friend
Who knew me right away
It was funny how she understood
All I had to say

She listened to my problems
She listened to my dreams
We talked about love and life
She'd been there too, it seems

I never once felt judged by her
She knew just how I felt
She seemed to just accept me
And all the problems I'd been dealt

She didn't interrupt me
Or need to have her say
She just listened very patiently
And didn't go away

I wanted her to understand
How much this meant to me
But as I went to hug her
Something startled me

I put my arms in front of me
And went to pull her nearer
And realized that my new best friend
Was nothing but a mirror.

Retold by Kimberly Kirberger
Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul

Dec 2, 2004

Stupid thing

Stupid thing

Amy and I did something very stupid yesterday. This is how it happended...

We were looking for a building in KL. We didn't know where it was. We got some useful directions from a few nice ol' Pakciks. We managed to blotch that up somehow. We stopped at a gas station to ask for directions. We actually bumped into one of the Pakciks. I couldn't stop laughing so Amy explained to him how we got lost. He gave some more directions.

Then he offered us a ride. He was going in the same direction.

I was tired of walking and it was starting to rain. So after a few moments of contemplation, we got in the car. Not until after we closed the door did it crossed my mind that we were doing something irreversibly STUPID. Yeah, too late, I know.
The nice ol' Pakcik kept up a stream of small talk all the way. Amy and I never said a word to each other, but we kept exchanging worried glances the whole time. She knew what was on my mind, and I hers.

Thankfully, we got to the place safe and sound. Everything turned out ok, but we made a very stupid decision all the same. Getting into a stranger's car is stupid, regardless of the situation.

Never again.

Ever.